Looking back you will see that every step was planned. Leave all to me. Each stone in the mosaic fits into the perfect pattern, designed by the master artist.
It is all so wonderful!
But the colors are of heaven's hues, so that your eyes could not bear to gaze on the whole until you are beyond the veil.
So stone by stone you see, and trust the pattern to the designer. ~ God Calling, 365 minute meditations
I remember reading this devotional this time last year. What I love so much about this little devotional is the fact that each page has the date on it, and even when you re-read this little book... It takes on new meaning every time... With every new day. I read this last year, and it struck me hard. With that though, there was much fear of the unknown. We were preparing to put our house on the market after living in it for 10 years. We had no idea what plan God had for us. My heart was full of fear even though I knew that whatever plan He had, it was all part of the mosaic. It was just one more piece of color filled tile to be laid down amidst the others.
As I read this again the other day, tears came once more. This time, they weren't tears shed out of fear. They were tears of excitement for the next tile to be added. God has done HUGE things in my heart over the past year. I have witnessed and seen our family receive gift after gift with this move that took place almost eight months ago. I have come through a season of tremendous change... As one who self-proclaimed to DESPISE change! More than that, I have come to finally realize that there is mostly good in change.
We are preparing to make another move. It is a move that none of us had planned. In fact, OUR plan was to stay here until we were ready to buy a house again. Our plan is not God's plan though. We are pouring through the classifieds, Craigslist, and property management web-sites looking for what is next to be "home". We are praying together... Around the dining room table, in the living room and while driving around taking care of daily tasks. There is no sense of panic. No fear. The stones will continue to be perfectly placed. The colors will continue to melt into each other... Forming the piece of art that we will only see when we finally get to meet our maker. Every question will be answered during that moment when I see the art in front of me... Beautifully designed by the Master.
Such comfort I find, such greatness in knowing that. I was able to share with my 12 year old just yesterday something that I read about in One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp last spring. It is something that has stuck with me maybe more than any other one thing out of that book. I told him this...
"We don't know what gifts God has planned for our lives or hearts next. All we DO know is that we cannot receive the gifts if our hands are clenched tightly. They have to be open to receive the gifts... Wide open. It is then that we receive so greatly what He wants to give us. It is then that we grow closer to Him and stronger in our knowledge of what He is capable of."
As I said these words to Colby, I felt it with everything that I am! I wasn't just saying it to make him feel better or even to calm myself. I knew then that my ability to feel this way and share this with others is one of those gigantic pieces of tile that the Lord has so proudly added to the mosaic.
"It is ALL so wonderful!"
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Perspective
If you read here or over at my other blog "home" very often, you have probably noticed that I've been in a sort of a funk lately. This season of life caught me off guard. I'm not ready to be the mother of a high schooler. I'm not at all prepared to start the process of letting go of my first. The Lord has been speaking to me night and day though. He is speaking clearly and at times, it seems as if I can actually feel a physical tug on my heart from Him.
I feel as though I have been going through self induced therapy. Every day I gather my thoughts and do something different with them. I start with prayer, and then I write, walk or read. Seriously... This season of life is kicking my rear!
Most recently I have picked up a book called 'The Gift of an Ordinary Day' by Katrina Kenison. It has been a HUGE blessing. I have decided that I NEED to meet this lady! I need to sit down with her, have a big cup of coffee and just let it all out. As I have been reading this book, I have felt that she has lived the life that I am now living. She has done the mourning. Her circumstances through all of the changes were so much like mine. Even the move right before starting high school! That in itself has proved to be more significant than I wanted to let it be. I have been writing some of her ideas down as I've been reading. I thought I'd share one here today...
" Whether we choose change, or it chooses us, the only thing we can know for sure is that security of any kind is an illusion. The life we know is always in the process of becoming something else." ~ Katrina Kenison
So there's only one thing I don't agree with here. I do that a lot when I read. I'm not one of those people who will read a book from front to back and agree with everything the author has to say. That's what makes reading interesting and fun for me. It challenges my thoughts. I don't agree with her statement about security. Not every kind of security is an illusion. Thankfully, my security in the Lord and his care over my life is NOT an illusion. It's something I FEEL everyday.... Even the days that I find my eyes just won't stop watering. What I believe she was talking about here is the earthly securities. Securities in our homes, our jobs, our families. Those things are the things that are always in the process of becoming something else. For a person who finds change difficult, this is a hard thought. And then... I kept reading.
I read on the news ticker about all of these people in Turkey who are mourning ABSOLUTE losses! I read on another blog about a mother who is mourning the death of her 8 month old baby boy who was taken by cancer in a matter of weeks. I read in my son's weekly school on-line newsletter about a family who last talked to their son a month ago now. He is lying in a hospital bed still in a coma. All of a sudden, I have perspective. I feel completely selfish for even shedding one tear over this season of change that I'm in. My family is all here. They are all well. We are happy. We do not mourn death right now. I may find change difficult, but because of this perspective, I must drag myself out of this pitiful place!
Our lives are always becoming. Today looks different than yesterday and tomorrow will look different than today. There is beauty in that though, isn't there? I think of this...
Receiving a long hug from from my fourteen year old is different now than it was yesterday. When he was younger, he hugged me because it's what little boys do. Sure, he hugged me because he wanted to. I know that. However, it feels different now. When he hugs me today I feel a deeper sense of his love for me and his need for me in his life. There is admiration and respect in his hugs. There may be fewer of them throughout the days, but the quality out weighs the quantity by far. There is beauty in the change taking place.
Because of what I know now, the words that I choose with my other two boys are chosen more carefully. I take more time out of my schedule to just sit with them and do nothing else but listen. Our relationships are stronger and sweeter than ever! There is beauty in the change....
Perspective was the perfect prescription.
I feel as though I have been going through self induced therapy. Every day I gather my thoughts and do something different with them. I start with prayer, and then I write, walk or read. Seriously... This season of life is kicking my rear!
Most recently I have picked up a book called 'The Gift of an Ordinary Day' by Katrina Kenison. It has been a HUGE blessing. I have decided that I NEED to meet this lady! I need to sit down with her, have a big cup of coffee and just let it all out. As I have been reading this book, I have felt that she has lived the life that I am now living. She has done the mourning. Her circumstances through all of the changes were so much like mine. Even the move right before starting high school! That in itself has proved to be more significant than I wanted to let it be. I have been writing some of her ideas down as I've been reading. I thought I'd share one here today...
" Whether we choose change, or it chooses us, the only thing we can know for sure is that security of any kind is an illusion. The life we know is always in the process of becoming something else." ~ Katrina Kenison
So there's only one thing I don't agree with here. I do that a lot when I read. I'm not one of those people who will read a book from front to back and agree with everything the author has to say. That's what makes reading interesting and fun for me. It challenges my thoughts. I don't agree with her statement about security. Not every kind of security is an illusion. Thankfully, my security in the Lord and his care over my life is NOT an illusion. It's something I FEEL everyday.... Even the days that I find my eyes just won't stop watering. What I believe she was talking about here is the earthly securities. Securities in our homes, our jobs, our families. Those things are the things that are always in the process of becoming something else. For a person who finds change difficult, this is a hard thought. And then... I kept reading.
I read on the news ticker about all of these people in Turkey who are mourning ABSOLUTE losses! I read on another blog about a mother who is mourning the death of her 8 month old baby boy who was taken by cancer in a matter of weeks. I read in my son's weekly school on-line newsletter about a family who last talked to their son a month ago now. He is lying in a hospital bed still in a coma. All of a sudden, I have perspective. I feel completely selfish for even shedding one tear over this season of change that I'm in. My family is all here. They are all well. We are happy. We do not mourn death right now. I may find change difficult, but because of this perspective, I must drag myself out of this pitiful place!
Our lives are always becoming. Today looks different than yesterday and tomorrow will look different than today. There is beauty in that though, isn't there? I think of this...
Receiving a long hug from from my fourteen year old is different now than it was yesterday. When he was younger, he hugged me because it's what little boys do. Sure, he hugged me because he wanted to. I know that. However, it feels different now. When he hugs me today I feel a deeper sense of his love for me and his need for me in his life. There is admiration and respect in his hugs. There may be fewer of them throughout the days, but the quality out weighs the quantity by far. There is beauty in the change taking place.
Because of what I know now, the words that I choose with my other two boys are chosen more carefully. I take more time out of my schedule to just sit with them and do nothing else but listen. Our relationships are stronger and sweeter than ever! There is beauty in the change....
Perspective was the perfect prescription.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Have No Fear
I have been absent for awhile. The seasons are changing here, and with that I tend to always start to "hibernate". I'm still just as busy as ever.... Feeding boys, cleaning up after boys, driving boys, in addition to my teaching job(s). My soul feels the tug to hibernate though. Why this is, I'm not sure.
Since I have last written, the young man (referred to as L) slipped back into a coma. He was only out of his coma briefly before his lung collapsed with a bacterial infection. The doctors thought it best to induce the coma again to allow his body to continue to heal. This poor boy has a sick heart, brain damage caused by having zero heart beat for a full 30 minutes, and now a bacterial infection in his lung. Please continue to pray for him and his family. The heart ache they must feel right now... The strength they must NEED! I cannot fathom it all.
During this time of prayer for L, I have experienced deep feelings of fear. I look at my boys with different eyes. I look at my husband and even myself and my mind wanders to the unknowns. I would even go as far to say that the first week or so after this tragedy, I was paralyzed by fear. I wanted nothing more than to pick up all my "little chicks" and bring them home where they would be safe under my wing. I spent a lot of time praying for L, and even more time crying. After a few days of this, I started to feel less of satan's grip on me and more of the Father's love. It was there all along, but I wasn't allowing myself the safety of a wing so much bigger than mine. This same wing that protects my family day after day.
Fear is something not to be ashamed of or deny. It's when I deny it that it grows bigger than me. It's when I face it, proclaim it.... Look it straight it the eye that it becomes smaller and manageable. I am reading a book that describes God as the pole that a tight rope walker holds as they walk the rope. The pole is there to create balance. God is here to create balance.... If I allow Him to. If I fight the pole, wrestle it in my grip, I will lose this balance and fall hard. If I hold it confidently, sure of it's purpose... I will walk with ease and a hope knowing I will get to the other side.
Today I am praising Jesus that He creates balance for me. I am praising Him because fear is not claiming me. I know that God has L's life in His hands. My heart has known that since the beginning. There is a story unfolding. One that is unknown by me, but NOT unknown by Him. I also know that God has already written my story, my husband's story, and the stories of my children. With so many things to distract me from what is most important, I KNOW that the MOST important thing is that they love JESUS! They love Him, they serve Him, they desire to please Him. They want Him to be the pole that they hold on their tight rope lines.
Jesus... You are so good. So perfect. Thank you for bringing balance into my life and helping me with my struggles. You are never late. Thank you for holding my family under your wing. Your wing is the only one we can truly find shelter under. Thank you for the grace you give us, knowing there will even be more to come.
Since I have last written, the young man (referred to as L) slipped back into a coma. He was only out of his coma briefly before his lung collapsed with a bacterial infection. The doctors thought it best to induce the coma again to allow his body to continue to heal. This poor boy has a sick heart, brain damage caused by having zero heart beat for a full 30 minutes, and now a bacterial infection in his lung. Please continue to pray for him and his family. The heart ache they must feel right now... The strength they must NEED! I cannot fathom it all.
During this time of prayer for L, I have experienced deep feelings of fear. I look at my boys with different eyes. I look at my husband and even myself and my mind wanders to the unknowns. I would even go as far to say that the first week or so after this tragedy, I was paralyzed by fear. I wanted nothing more than to pick up all my "little chicks" and bring them home where they would be safe under my wing. I spent a lot of time praying for L, and even more time crying. After a few days of this, I started to feel less of satan's grip on me and more of the Father's love. It was there all along, but I wasn't allowing myself the safety of a wing so much bigger than mine. This same wing that protects my family day after day.
Fear is something not to be ashamed of or deny. It's when I deny it that it grows bigger than me. It's when I face it, proclaim it.... Look it straight it the eye that it becomes smaller and manageable. I am reading a book that describes God as the pole that a tight rope walker holds as they walk the rope. The pole is there to create balance. God is here to create balance.... If I allow Him to. If I fight the pole, wrestle it in my grip, I will lose this balance and fall hard. If I hold it confidently, sure of it's purpose... I will walk with ease and a hope knowing I will get to the other side.
Today I am praising Jesus that He creates balance for me. I am praising Him because fear is not claiming me. I know that God has L's life in His hands. My heart has known that since the beginning. There is a story unfolding. One that is unknown by me, but NOT unknown by Him. I also know that God has already written my story, my husband's story, and the stories of my children. With so many things to distract me from what is most important, I KNOW that the MOST important thing is that they love JESUS! They love Him, they serve Him, they desire to please Him. They want Him to be the pole that they hold on their tight rope lines.
Jesus... You are so good. So perfect. Thank you for bringing balance into my life and helping me with my struggles. You are never late. Thank you for holding my family under your wing. Your wing is the only one we can truly find shelter under. Thank you for the grace you give us, knowing there will even be more to come.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Praise Be To HIM!!
The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. ~ John 1:14
My heart is overwhelmed with praise this morning! So full, that I find it hard to know where to begin...
For those of you who follow me over at my other "blog home", you read this week that a friend of Luke's suffered a major heart attack last Sunday. He was put into a medically induced coma. By mid-week, the parents reported to us that the Dr.'s had informed them that it would "take a miracle" for L to survive.
Wednesday it was national "See you at the pole" day. Students all over our nation gathered on their school campuses to pray. Some prayed for their nation. Some prayed for their schools. Del Oro High School (where my son and his friend attend) prayed for L and his family. I can't say what everyone else's specific prayers were, but I can say that my son, along with us and MANY others ( I called the world I think, including contacting K~Love radio) have been praying for a miracle! I know what my Father is capable of. After Wednesday, I started seeing this all in a new light. I started to see that there was a bigger picture. Obviously this young man was in much medical need. Obviously his parents were hurting beyond what I can even comprehend. My gut and my heart were telling me that L would be healed and that this was about bringing others into relationship with Christ... Maybe some who didn't share any relationship with Him... Maybe others who have relationship, but it is only surface deep.
It is no coincidence that on the day AFTER the school gathered to pray for him, this boy's parents called the school to report that they thought they had seen L try to open his eyes. It is no coincidence that two days after the school gathered to pray for L, he woke up from his coma. He completely came out of it! The doctors had said it would take a miracle, and that it what they witnessed. I'm sure today they are stumped by it all, but I am not. Those that have been praying are not. My son is not. His faith has been forever changed because he has witnessed first hand the biggest kind of miracle there is.
Last night before we went to bed, I prayed with my family. My prayers included this friend of Luke's and his family. I prayed for physical and emotional strength and healing. I prayed specifically that L would come out of his coma and that everything about that would point to Christ.... That He would receive ALL the glory for the miraculous thing He had done! My eyes are wet this morning and there is a lump in my throat as big as a golf ball because my Jesus did this. He wrote the pages of this week. He continues to write the pages of the days and weeks to come as the effects of this boy's life and tragic near death story trickle down. This is far from over.
Please continue to pray for L as he now has double pneumonia. I will be praying for healing there too. I will also be praying that people's hearts will be open to accepting what really happened here. That we will see it for what it really is and nothing else.... That the Lord will receive all the praise and honor. I will pray for this high school student body too. I believe that the Lord wants to turn their eyes towards Him in this. I believe he wants to capture hearts. I pray that their hearts will be tender and willing.
Thank you, Jesus. You are so good... So perfect. I can say that knowing that even if you would have chosen to take L's life, You still would have had a perfect plan. I ask that You continue to be with L as he experiences complete healing. I pray that Your face is seen in all of this.... That everything about this story points to YOU! Thank you for making your presence known in my heart this week and in the hearts of my family. I praise You because of who You are. You never change. You are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
I am in awe...
My heart is overwhelmed with praise this morning! So full, that I find it hard to know where to begin...
For those of you who follow me over at my other "blog home", you read this week that a friend of Luke's suffered a major heart attack last Sunday. He was put into a medically induced coma. By mid-week, the parents reported to us that the Dr.'s had informed them that it would "take a miracle" for L to survive.
Wednesday it was national "See you at the pole" day. Students all over our nation gathered on their school campuses to pray. Some prayed for their nation. Some prayed for their schools. Del Oro High School (where my son and his friend attend) prayed for L and his family. I can't say what everyone else's specific prayers were, but I can say that my son, along with us and MANY others ( I called the world I think, including contacting K~Love radio) have been praying for a miracle! I know what my Father is capable of. After Wednesday, I started seeing this all in a new light. I started to see that there was a bigger picture. Obviously this young man was in much medical need. Obviously his parents were hurting beyond what I can even comprehend. My gut and my heart were telling me that L would be healed and that this was about bringing others into relationship with Christ... Maybe some who didn't share any relationship with Him... Maybe others who have relationship, but it is only surface deep.
It is no coincidence that on the day AFTER the school gathered to pray for him, this boy's parents called the school to report that they thought they had seen L try to open his eyes. It is no coincidence that two days after the school gathered to pray for L, he woke up from his coma. He completely came out of it! The doctors had said it would take a miracle, and that it what they witnessed. I'm sure today they are stumped by it all, but I am not. Those that have been praying are not. My son is not. His faith has been forever changed because he has witnessed first hand the biggest kind of miracle there is.
Last night before we went to bed, I prayed with my family. My prayers included this friend of Luke's and his family. I prayed for physical and emotional strength and healing. I prayed specifically that L would come out of his coma and that everything about that would point to Christ.... That He would receive ALL the glory for the miraculous thing He had done! My eyes are wet this morning and there is a lump in my throat as big as a golf ball because my Jesus did this. He wrote the pages of this week. He continues to write the pages of the days and weeks to come as the effects of this boy's life and tragic near death story trickle down. This is far from over.
Please continue to pray for L as he now has double pneumonia. I will be praying for healing there too. I will also be praying that people's hearts will be open to accepting what really happened here. That we will see it for what it really is and nothing else.... That the Lord will receive all the praise and honor. I will pray for this high school student body too. I believe that the Lord wants to turn their eyes towards Him in this. I believe he wants to capture hearts. I pray that their hearts will be tender and willing.
Thank you, Jesus. You are so good... So perfect. I can say that knowing that even if you would have chosen to take L's life, You still would have had a perfect plan. I ask that You continue to be with L as he experiences complete healing. I pray that Your face is seen in all of this.... That everything about this story points to YOU! Thank you for making your presence known in my heart this week and in the hearts of my family. I praise You because of who You are. You never change. You are the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
I am in awe...
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Mission Possible
During the past few days, my ability to find praise in every situation has been tested. I dove head first into a funk on Friday night and it is now Tuesday. I can officially say that last night I found my way back up to the surface and the Lord has me right where He wants me now.
A few weeks ago I put up a wall decal in my hallway. I walk by it several times a day. It says this...
'The best things in life aren't things'
As I've read this quote, I have thought of "things" like cars, furniture, expensive clothing, generally... stuff. The quote has come to take on a whole new meaning for me recently though. The best things in life aren't things... Including houses.
I am a homemaker. I love to take care of my home. I love to decorate and organize. I love to make my house our home and make others feel comfortable and cozy here. I view hospitality as a God given gift that He gave me!
In April, we packed up our home where we had lived for more than ten years. We packed up and moved down from the big hill, a little closer to J's work and a lot closer to school for the boys. The circumstances weren't the best, but the guidance that we felt from the Lord was INCREDIBLE. We were lead to this house that we now live in and it has felt right from the very beginning. There were days of frustration and sadness too, but all the while, we felt like our lives were in God's hands and He placed us exactly where we are supposed to be.
Fast forward six months.
On Friday we received a phone call from our land lord. She told us that she wants to list the house for sale in April. She wants to give us first opportunity to buy it, but it will go on the market in April if we decide not to purchase. WOW... Totally shocked with this one! When we originally signed the lease with her in April there were no signs that this would happen. In fact, she stressed that she would love to have us long term if we would stay. We were happy to oblige.
So... Here we are again. Clay in the Potter's hands. J and I have talked and talked about this one, and I know that the talking is far from over. There are many thoughts traveling through our heads. Thoughts of past mistakes, thoughts of the future. Thoughts that are from Him, and others that are so NOT from Him. Right before we went to sleep last night though, I said to my hubby in the dark stillness of night...
"What if we are supposed to adopt the attitudes and even partial lifestyle of missionaries in all of this? What if THAT is what this is all about?"
Our purpose here in this house has been extremely evident. The journey here was not a mistake. From the very beginning of all of this I have found huge amounts of comfort in that. So why should I find anything else except comfort in what God has planned for us next?
When I look at the negatives, such as moving our three boys again (thus creating a feeling of instability but then again, maybe they see it as adventure), having to "find" another home for us and our three furry children (we didn't find this one, God led us straight to it!), and having to make another house a home (wait... didn't I say that I LOVE to do that?) it's easy to see that there is positive inside every negative. What seems at first to be an impossible thought becomes possible in every way.
I may not be on an international mission field, but I do believe God has me and my family on a mission of our own. I'm thankful that He pulled me from the depths of where I plummeted the other day in self-pity. He showed me that this is all the same road He put us on awhile ago. Still things to be learned. Still love to be shared. Still that pliable piece of nothing that He is shaping into something grand.
I can praise Him because He holds me still.
A few weeks ago I put up a wall decal in my hallway. I walk by it several times a day. It says this...
'The best things in life aren't things'
As I've read this quote, I have thought of "things" like cars, furniture, expensive clothing, generally... stuff. The quote has come to take on a whole new meaning for me recently though. The best things in life aren't things... Including houses.
I am a homemaker. I love to take care of my home. I love to decorate and organize. I love to make my house our home and make others feel comfortable and cozy here. I view hospitality as a God given gift that He gave me!
In April, we packed up our home where we had lived for more than ten years. We packed up and moved down from the big hill, a little closer to J's work and a lot closer to school for the boys. The circumstances weren't the best, but the guidance that we felt from the Lord was INCREDIBLE. We were lead to this house that we now live in and it has felt right from the very beginning. There were days of frustration and sadness too, but all the while, we felt like our lives were in God's hands and He placed us exactly where we are supposed to be.
Fast forward six months.
On Friday we received a phone call from our land lord. She told us that she wants to list the house for sale in April. She wants to give us first opportunity to buy it, but it will go on the market in April if we decide not to purchase. WOW... Totally shocked with this one! When we originally signed the lease with her in April there were no signs that this would happen. In fact, she stressed that she would love to have us long term if we would stay. We were happy to oblige.
So... Here we are again. Clay in the Potter's hands. J and I have talked and talked about this one, and I know that the talking is far from over. There are many thoughts traveling through our heads. Thoughts of past mistakes, thoughts of the future. Thoughts that are from Him, and others that are so NOT from Him. Right before we went to sleep last night though, I said to my hubby in the dark stillness of night...
"What if we are supposed to adopt the attitudes and even partial lifestyle of missionaries in all of this? What if THAT is what this is all about?"
Our purpose here in this house has been extremely evident. The journey here was not a mistake. From the very beginning of all of this I have found huge amounts of comfort in that. So why should I find anything else except comfort in what God has planned for us next?
When I look at the negatives, such as moving our three boys again (thus creating a feeling of instability but then again, maybe they see it as adventure), having to "find" another home for us and our three furry children (we didn't find this one, God led us straight to it!), and having to make another house a home (wait... didn't I say that I LOVE to do that?) it's easy to see that there is positive inside every negative. What seems at first to be an impossible thought becomes possible in every way.
I may not be on an international mission field, but I do believe God has me and my family on a mission of our own. I'm thankful that He pulled me from the depths of where I plummeted the other day in self-pity. He showed me that this is all the same road He put us on awhile ago. Still things to be learned. Still love to be shared. Still that pliable piece of nothing that He is shaping into something grand.
I can praise Him because He holds me still.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Beautiful Things
I've been listening to this song on K~ Love for weeks now. Every time I hear it, I hear whispers of truth being spoken into me. It's easy to let ourselves feel everything BUT beautiful in this world we live in. We are confronted daily with what the world believes to be "beautiful". This weekend I went to the ocean with my hubby and boys. On our way, I received a text from a good friend of mine. I had just shared with her the night before about my struggles with feeling beautiful. She sent this...
"He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me." 2 Samuel 22:20
My friend knew that there would be many "beach bodies" looming in front of me for the weekend. She knew my insecurities, and she provided this scripture as a reminder that the Lord DELIGHTS in me! He sees beauty in me, and that is what matters most!
The Lord is SO able to make beautiful things out of the nastiest, filthiest dust that lies in front of us daily. There is only one requirement...
Are our hearts open to listening to only His truths and NOT the truths of the world?
*** Don't forget to pause the music at the bottom of this page before starting the video. ***
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
A Cheerful heart
This morning proved to be a little overwhelming. The other two boys started school today, and although I have been very excited for them... It was harder than I thought it would be. I was once again flooded with memories and emotions involving all of the hours spent schooling them at home. They weren't all lovely. A lot of those moments were painful and even ugly. In my heart though, they are all beautiful because they were all moments of learning together and part of what defines "us".
After everyone had been dropped off for school this morning, my throat began to feel quite lumpy. To be honest, I suddenly had this overwhelming desire to go directly home and hide under my covers while having a good cry. Maybe that would make it all better, right? Then... I turned on my radio.... Tuned to K~Love of course. The morning gal shared some scripture and right away I heard the Lord speaking to ME!
~ Proverbs 17:22 ~
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
God knew I needed the proper kind of "medicine" this morning, and it didn't include tears or bed pillows. It involved HIM! He picked me up and filled this Mama heart with joy for my children. I immediately thought of everything that they will get to experience in this new season. I remembered that a bigger portion of the world will now to get to know them and see for themselves what incredible young men they are! My spirit is not crushed, it is lifted high with the one who loves us and sees to our needs. He is so full of mercy for His children... So incredibly faithful!
Praying that you are able to go about your day with a good dose of God's medicine... A cheerful heart. It can change everything in a matter of seconds.
After everyone had been dropped off for school this morning, my throat began to feel quite lumpy. To be honest, I suddenly had this overwhelming desire to go directly home and hide under my covers while having a good cry. Maybe that would make it all better, right? Then... I turned on my radio.... Tuned to K~Love of course. The morning gal shared some scripture and right away I heard the Lord speaking to ME!
~ Proverbs 17:22 ~
A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
God knew I needed the proper kind of "medicine" this morning, and it didn't include tears or bed pillows. It involved HIM! He picked me up and filled this Mama heart with joy for my children. I immediately thought of everything that they will get to experience in this new season. I remembered that a bigger portion of the world will now to get to know them and see for themselves what incredible young men they are! My spirit is not crushed, it is lifted high with the one who loves us and sees to our needs. He is so full of mercy for His children... So incredibly faithful!
Praying that you are able to go about your day with a good dose of God's medicine... A cheerful heart. It can change everything in a matter of seconds.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Singing and Dancing!
A little over fourteen years ago I held my first born for the first time. I smelled him, I gazed long at his tiny perfect face. I dreamt of all the things we would do.... Parks, birthday parties, long naps together, playing ball in the back yard, etc. etc.. One event that never crossed my mind was dropping him off for his first day of High School.
This morning I did just that. I warned my other two sitting in the back seat not to even THINK about rushing into doing the same. People always told me this day would come fast. I really had no idea though. It came faster than fast! It was quicker than a blink of an eye!
As I started my car back up after grabbing a quick cup of coffee at Starbucks, a song came on that could NOT have been more perfect. The song talked about the Lord delighting in us... About Him singing and dancing over His children! It talked about how fear can sometimes grip our faith, but it never should because of the fact that He delights in us. He wants to cover us. He desires for us to know that our faith is stronger than any fear of anything... Including the unknown. I knew that this song was especially for me on this particular morning.
I prayed for my son as we drove into the HS parking lot. I prayed that the Lord would continue to speak His Word, love and peace into Luke's life as he starts this new chapter. As I prayed those things, I looked over at my incredibly calm son. He has no fear about this day... No anxiety at all. What a gift! Then, as I listened to this song, I heard the Lord whispering the same words that I prayed over my son into me. He delights in me! He delights in Luke! Everyday that he steps onto that campus, the Lord will be singing and dancing over Luke. He will be singing and dancing over me as even I start another chapter in my own life.
Today is a big day. Today there is much to be thankful for, but most of all, I am in awe of the fact that once again, God took care of the details. He saw where my heart needed speaking to, and He spoke.
There is much singing and dancing over His children today!
This morning I did just that. I warned my other two sitting in the back seat not to even THINK about rushing into doing the same. People always told me this day would come fast. I really had no idea though. It came faster than fast! It was quicker than a blink of an eye!
As I started my car back up after grabbing a quick cup of coffee at Starbucks, a song came on that could NOT have been more perfect. The song talked about the Lord delighting in us... About Him singing and dancing over His children! It talked about how fear can sometimes grip our faith, but it never should because of the fact that He delights in us. He wants to cover us. He desires for us to know that our faith is stronger than any fear of anything... Including the unknown. I knew that this song was especially for me on this particular morning.
I prayed for my son as we drove into the HS parking lot. I prayed that the Lord would continue to speak His Word, love and peace into Luke's life as he starts this new chapter. As I prayed those things, I looked over at my incredibly calm son. He has no fear about this day... No anxiety at all. What a gift! Then, as I listened to this song, I heard the Lord whispering the same words that I prayed over my son into me. He delights in me! He delights in Luke! Everyday that he steps onto that campus, the Lord will be singing and dancing over Luke. He will be singing and dancing over me as even I start another chapter in my own life.
Today is a big day. Today there is much to be thankful for, but most of all, I am in awe of the fact that once again, God took care of the details. He saw where my heart needed speaking to, and He spoke.
There is much singing and dancing over His children today!
Monday, August 8, 2011
He's About Beauty
Psalm 27:4
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek;
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the
Lord
and to seek Him in his
temple. ~
Outside of my dining room window, stands a peach tree. From this window, the only part of the tree visible is the tree top. Right now it is covered with dark green leaves. There is one limb that stands alone though. It has no leaves. It sticks up straight into the sky.
Every night (almost at the same exact time) a bright red dragonfly appears on that bare branch. It flies in and hovers over the tree for a bit and then makes it's landing on that branch where it stays for a good long time. Colby and Luke have both been out to take pictures of it. They have even put a ladder out there in the middle of the yard so that they can get a closer look at it's detail. The amazing thing is that it doesn't fly away! It just stays there for us to behold it's beauty.
I have come to realize that this dragonfly is an offering. Every night as I prepare dinner for my family, it is there to remind me of the details that God is capable of. More often than not, I enter the kitchen exhausted at the end of the day. It's really the last place I want to be. That dragonfly puts an instant smile on my heart and face. It changes my perspective every night! Those are the kinds of details God delights in taking care of. As that smile appears on my face, so does a smile appear on His.
My God is all about beauty. He mastered it in things that surround us every day. He created it in even me. I have found that to stop and notice it is giving God the credit He so deserves! There is so much blessing in seeing the beautiful ways in which He takes care of every detail of my life and the lives around me.
I pray that you see the the beauty and the purpose in your dragonfly today...
One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek;
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the
Lord
and to seek Him in his
temple. ~
Outside of my dining room window, stands a peach tree. From this window, the only part of the tree visible is the tree top. Right now it is covered with dark green leaves. There is one limb that stands alone though. It has no leaves. It sticks up straight into the sky.
Every night (almost at the same exact time) a bright red dragonfly appears on that bare branch. It flies in and hovers over the tree for a bit and then makes it's landing on that branch where it stays for a good long time. Colby and Luke have both been out to take pictures of it. They have even put a ladder out there in the middle of the yard so that they can get a closer look at it's detail. The amazing thing is that it doesn't fly away! It just stays there for us to behold it's beauty.
I have come to realize that this dragonfly is an offering. Every night as I prepare dinner for my family, it is there to remind me of the details that God is capable of. More often than not, I enter the kitchen exhausted at the end of the day. It's really the last place I want to be. That dragonfly puts an instant smile on my heart and face. It changes my perspective every night! Those are the kinds of details God delights in taking care of. As that smile appears on my face, so does a smile appear on His.
My God is all about beauty. He mastered it in things that surround us every day. He created it in even me. I have found that to stop and notice it is giving God the credit He so deserves! There is so much blessing in seeing the beautiful ways in which He takes care of every detail of my life and the lives around me.
I pray that you see the the beauty and the purpose in your dragonfly today...
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
The Heart's Capacity
Our little silver sedan fell silent this morning as we drove home with one less boy. The only audible sounds were those of the tears hitting our cheeks and noses sniffling. It's true, when the alarm clock sounded this morning, I rolled over and said to myself, "I don't want to do this day". This morning Clement began his journey back home to France.
When the boys and I returned home, I broke the silence with a request to gather together in the living room. I hugged them tightly and told them how proud I am of them. They didn't hold back their tears... Not even with the crowds that surrounded them in that parking lot. I shared with them that I have learned during these past three weeks about the capacity of my own heart, as well as theirs. We all gave of ourselves more than one hundred percent. We fell in love with this young man from a small village in the middle of France. He was gifted to us, I believe, to show us exactly what the human heart is capable of. He was only here for three weeks, but in that short amount of time we came to love him as one of our own. He shared himself with us in this same way. Perhaps that is one of the reasons why he became one of us so quickly.
It became almost an expected thing to spend every evening sitting together in the living room and sharing life and lots of laughter. He told us that his family in France is on the quiet side. Those of you who know us well know that we are anything BUT quiet! I think when Clement gets home his family will see another side of him. I pray that they enjoy this side of him as much as we did, and that Clement always feels the same comfort of being himself and bringing about laughter like he did here.
Through the tears that continue to find their way down my face I am thanking God for this experience. All five of us have learned so much about God's design for our hearts and how he desires us to love others. We have learned how to effectively share life... Without holding back.
France is oceans away. The love that we now share with our "french son" makes the distance seem so much shorter though. The loose change is already being thrown into the big vacation jar so that we can make our first journey out to France. Our goal is to make it out there for his high school graduation. That is only two years away, but I know that God will provide.
He gave us Clement, and He will continue to see us through each other's lives.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
A New Day
Today was our first day out since the bug hit.... And what a day it was! We escaped the heat of the foothills and headed straight for the cool breezes of the mountains in Tahoe to show Clement the beauty that God made right here in our own little "village".
It was a gorgeous, perfect day. We hiked around Vikingsholm a bit (not too much since boys are still recovering a bit) and then took a picnic lunch to Kings Beach where we dipped our toes in the icy cold water and then scooped up the poles and bait for some crawdad fishing off of the jetty. It was a successful adventure! Clement declared himself the winner of crawdad fishing with a whopping total of FOUR crawdads caught at once. In this sport, it's not about the size. It's all about the quantity of how many you pull up at once. It's almost like playing a careful game of Pik-up-Stix or Jenga!
Today was a kiss on the cheek from Jesus. He restores us exactly when the need is there. Just yesterday I was telling my sister that I was trying not to feel discouraged with all of the sickness and disinfecting, but it was getting hard not to. I asked her to join me in prayer that my spirits would lift and the sickness would disappear. This morning, our house was FULL of smiles and laughter as we packed up the "bus" for our day away.
God is near... All the time.
It was a gorgeous, perfect day. We hiked around Vikingsholm a bit (not too much since boys are still recovering a bit) and then took a picnic lunch to Kings Beach where we dipped our toes in the icy cold water and then scooped up the poles and bait for some crawdad fishing off of the jetty. It was a successful adventure! Clement declared himself the winner of crawdad fishing with a whopping total of FOUR crawdads caught at once. In this sport, it's not about the size. It's all about the quantity of how many you pull up at once. It's almost like playing a careful game of Pik-up-Stix or Jenga!
Today was a kiss on the cheek from Jesus. He restores us exactly when the need is there. Just yesterday I was telling my sister that I was trying not to feel discouraged with all of the sickness and disinfecting, but it was getting hard not to. I asked her to join me in prayer that my spirits would lift and the sickness would disappear. This morning, our house was FULL of smiles and laughter as we packed up the "bus" for our day away.
God is near... All the time.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Finding Joy In a Bug!
Our house has been overtaken by a nasty, germy bug! My week has included everything from mopping up human projectile to disinfecting door knobs and remote controls. There are no less than five different bottles of medicine on my kitchen counter. We have made two trips to the doctor's office and two trips to the pharmacy. All three boys are sick and our poor french exchange student is barely hanging in there at the moment. He says he rarely gets sick, but I feel it will take nothing less than a miracle for him to escape the nastiness in our house right now!
It's easy for me to feel discouraged and plain ol' exhausted during times like these. We're supposed to be off exploring our world here with Clement (our student)! Instead we are making it work closer to home. There is purpose in even this dumb bug that is infesting our home!
Today I took Clement (and Caleb, since he is feeling better) to lunch to escape for awhile. We sat outside on a beautiful patio at a little organic cafe here in town. It was a yummy lunch and a very sweet time of asking Clement questions about his home. It was a nice time of just slowing down and strengthening a relationship. It was a blessing.
Hopefully everyone feels better soon. Until then, we are happy to slow down and enjoy the beauty in each other and the little gifts that surround us here.
It's easy for me to feel discouraged and plain ol' exhausted during times like these. We're supposed to be off exploring our world here with Clement (our student)! Instead we are making it work closer to home. There is purpose in even this dumb bug that is infesting our home!
Today I took Clement (and Caleb, since he is feeling better) to lunch to escape for awhile. We sat outside on a beautiful patio at a little organic cafe here in town. It was a yummy lunch and a very sweet time of asking Clement questions about his home. It was a nice time of just slowing down and strengthening a relationship. It was a blessing.
Hopefully everyone feels better soon. Until then, we are happy to slow down and enjoy the beauty in each other and the little gifts that surround us here.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Mountains
Psalm 138:1
I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart, before the gods
I will sing your praise.
I will bow down toward your holy temple
and will praise your name
for your love and your faithfulness,
for you have exalted above all things
your name and your word.
Sometimes there are big mountains before me... Standing there to intimidate me and stop me from finding the joy deep down inside of myself. Sometimes the mountains aren't even that big at all, but they are still standing there to rob me.
I have but one question. Which is bigger... The mountain before me or the God who made me?
It all goes back to a song that I learned in Sunday School when I was a little girl. It went something like this:
'My God is so BIG... So strong and so mighty. There's NOTHING my God cannot do.'
He is here to move the mountains. He cares about that. He wants to move them! While that happens though, I need to give thanks and praise Him. In doing that, the mountain begins to crumble. It falls down around me and the path opens up. It may not be the path that I'm familiar with, but it is ALWAYS the path that He wants me on.
The joy that was once deep down within is now closer to the surface where it is supposed to be. Praising Him... Thanking Him brings us closer to Him.
It makes the mountains so small next to a God that is so much bigger!
Monday, July 25, 2011
New Birth
As I was driving home from a chiropractor appointment today, this very phrase ran across my brain several times...
A passion for praise.
At first I was confused about why this came to me. As I thought further though, it all made sense. I recently read about someone else's passion. I read the words carefully while I thought these questions in my head...
What is my passion?
Is my passion evident to those around me?
Is there physical evidence of my passion?
I thought these things and then I became distracted and forgot to answer them. In the car today, the Lord was just following through with me. He noticed the big question mark there and He knew it needed to be answered. A passion for praise is what I have been learning about for the past several months. It is something that I feel has changed inside of me. I used to be one that worried constantly... about everything. I am a planner and I have never been one for change. God knew just how to fix these things this year though, and that is just what we have been up to... He and I.
I am learning that it isn't something that can be fixed in my own timing. It is only in His, and I have even come as far to accept that it is something that I will most likely learn about for the rest of my life on earth! I have not only accepted it though. I have become full of excitement over this learning process. I CRAVE it!
Through all of this, praising Jesus is what I have become passionate about. My eyes have been opened to the fact that it is nearly impossible for any human being to have complete, authentic joy in their heart 24/7, BUT when we at least strive for that, the picture is always different and there is ALWAYS reason to give praise.
On these pages I hope to spread the contagious love and mercy of a God who sent His son to save me... to save US! Being passionate about praise has changed my life. It has changed how I handle life's ups and downs. It has changed my prayer life. It has changed me as a wife and it has changed how I parent my children.
Through this tiny conversation that I had with the Lord today in my car, I feel that I am being called to share about my passion for praising Jesus... In every circumstance. Thus, the birth of this new place. I pray that the words that I choose to type will always be only from Him. I want only to glorify Him. I would love for you to join me as we practice having His praise ALWAYS on our lips.
A passion for praise.
At first I was confused about why this came to me. As I thought further though, it all made sense. I recently read about someone else's passion. I read the words carefully while I thought these questions in my head...
What is my passion?
Is my passion evident to those around me?
Is there physical evidence of my passion?
I thought these things and then I became distracted and forgot to answer them. In the car today, the Lord was just following through with me. He noticed the big question mark there and He knew it needed to be answered. A passion for praise is what I have been learning about for the past several months. It is something that I feel has changed inside of me. I used to be one that worried constantly... about everything. I am a planner and I have never been one for change. God knew just how to fix these things this year though, and that is just what we have been up to... He and I.
I am learning that it isn't something that can be fixed in my own timing. It is only in His, and I have even come as far to accept that it is something that I will most likely learn about for the rest of my life on earth! I have not only accepted it though. I have become full of excitement over this learning process. I CRAVE it!
Through all of this, praising Jesus is what I have become passionate about. My eyes have been opened to the fact that it is nearly impossible for any human being to have complete, authentic joy in their heart 24/7, BUT when we at least strive for that, the picture is always different and there is ALWAYS reason to give praise.
On these pages I hope to spread the contagious love and mercy of a God who sent His son to save me... to save US! Being passionate about praise has changed my life. It has changed how I handle life's ups and downs. It has changed my prayer life. It has changed me as a wife and it has changed how I parent my children.
Through this tiny conversation that I had with the Lord today in my car, I feel that I am being called to share about my passion for praising Jesus... In every circumstance. Thus, the birth of this new place. I pray that the words that I choose to type will always be only from Him. I want only to glorify Him. I would love for you to join me as we practice having His praise ALWAYS on our lips.
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